Bonjour everyone- I am currently at Holly's house- keeping kosher, preventing the mean neighbors from calling the cops on the crazy dogs, and avoiding Holly's pothead friends who want to have a party here. I am almost out of milk but I am afraid to go to the grocery store because this town is very confusing and I don't want to get lost! However, you all know I need my cereal so I think I will have to be brave and go on an adventure to ShopRite tomorrow! Wish me luck!
Sooo I am currently watching a movie about the 2000 Florida Recount on HBO while I write this, and as I wrote I thought I heard a familiar voice! I looked up at the televison- shocked!- could it be? No.. it turns out the Joe Liberman just sounds exactly like Sheldon Solomon! I was very disappointed it wasn't him. I was hoping he was making a cameo in the movie. Maybe I've just got Skidmore on the brain.
I would like to add giant jumping spiders to the list of evil animals. Yesterday morning I was in the living room when I saw the biggest spider ever emerge from behind a chair. It was the size of my hand- swear to god- and it was brown and had loooong legs. I could not control myself, I was squealing out loud in the house and getting the dogs all wound up. The worst part is, after I mustered up my courage and found a book to squish the thing with, I couldn't bring myself to lift the book up because I didn't want to look at it. So I slipped I magazine under the book, hoping that I could sandwich the spider between them. Then I lifted up the book and magazine, with the spider supposedly between them and ran to the bathroom to flush the remains down the toilet. But when I went to dump the body, NOTHING WAS THERE. The creature is still out there! I constantly feel like it's crawling on me now and I am paranoid to sleep. And of course after I told Lauren this story she tells me about a certain kind of spider(or cricket that looks like a spider) that JUMPS. I think that's what this one must have done to get away from me. Eeeeeeeeeeek- I am actually sqealing at this very moment thinking about it and the dogs think I am nuts.
Not much else to say for now- pray for me.
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5 comments:
OMG - giant jumping spiders?!?! That sounds absolutely terrifying, and usually I'm the spider killing girl around the house. As for the smashing without having to look at it part, I'd recommend putting the magazine down, waiting for the spider to crawl on top of it, and then dropping the book on top once he does. This can also be attempted while using a layer of paper towel both on top of the magazine and under the book, if you won't want either to get spider guts on them. I frequently encounter this problem since I live in the basement, and spiders tend to find their way in - usually in the bathroom. So one day I used an old DVD case to get one, and now it's just stationed in there and I use a piece of toilet paper to cover the box, and then smash the spider quickly, which typically keeps most of the guts on the paper, which is then easily disposed of.
Yes, I did just respond in lengthy detail about spider killing. But it's something that's taken up a lot of my time recently, so I felt it deserved the space.
use Thomason to help you find the grocery store!
and eww about the spiders, there was a very large one that jumped on my lap in the car while I was driving and luckily I didn't crash my car as I squeeled.
using tomison is what a smart person would do but I thought I knew how to get there without it. silly me. I made it there fine but then coming back was disasterous. Luckily I was able to pull over before I got on the highway going the wrong way and I had tomison with me so all was well. never again will I trust my own abilities when it comes to directions! I'm very glad you didn't crash your car when the spider walked over you- imagine if it had JUMPED at you. eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek
claire- I am very impressed with your knowledge of spider disposal. that was like an essay! I will use your advice if I ever see the demon again. That absolute worst part of this story is that I woke up this morning with a slight rash on one of my cheeks. SPIDER BITE?? jeeezus please no.
I used to throw shoes at them when they were in my old house...I will admit it was not the best way to commit the murders, but sometimes it actually worked! I have had many run-ins with those evil things--in my bed, on my mom's head, etc...so be careful!!
Call if you need anything this week!
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