I waiting until I could give you something worth knowing about. So here it is. The piece de resistance.

Fuck yeah, bitches. That's a 9 mm Glock handgun.

I went to Mississippi and went to this place, Mitch's. Basically Mitch has a junk house in the middle of bumblefuck Aberdeen, MS. You can go inside, and for $5 and without any ID, prior gun experience, or even proving your mental capacity, borrow any one of his guns. He has the entire Glock series, hunting rifles, revolvers, and a fully automatic AK-47. You take the gun outside, and shoot it into some dirt piles. For .60, you can nail a target into a wood block and take your shot at that.
In more wholesome news, for those that don't already know, my father is in the process of opening an ice cream and coffee shop. Much of my time when I'm not at work or passed out in front of HGTV, I am watching informative videos about espresso machines, batch freezers, dipping cases. It's moving slowly, but by the time Lizzie comes back from the peace corp, there should be ice cream.
I miss you all - can we see each other soon?